Being on the end of some rather haughty Facebook commenting this week my first reaction was hurt dismay, how could this person be so mean? He doesn’t know me, has never met me, we’re not even cyber friends, merely a cyber friend of a cyber friend (it is worth noting at this early point that I am notoriously hugely oversensitive).
The next reaction I had was to fire back some caustic comment of my own – my kneejerk reaction to hurt having been set to ‘lash-out” for many years now – then I started thinking about whether by commenting myself in a public forum I hadn’t actually invited response and in doing that did I subsequently have the right to demand that all feedback was positive?
No, no I thought (sometimes it is exhausting arguing with yourself, and one of you will always lose)it wasn’t the fact that the gentleman had disagreed with me, it was the superior tone he’d used that I had taken umbrage with.....but, I hear you cry, there is no tone in texting, to which I would direct you to the note in brackets in the first paragraph. This thought lead me back to my initial outrage so I fired off a comment along the lines of acknowledging my stupidity and thanking the offending gentleman for pointing it out...I know, I know but check above default setting.
So, I’m left wondering whether there is an accepted etiquette for this type of thing or does the relative anonymity of the internet lead people to believe that they can behave however they please? More to the point is that how things should be and am I the only one who minds? I know one close friend who reported a racist joke to the moderators of a social networking site so people do still care. Of course a difference of opinion is no way in the same league as racism but where exactly do we draw the line? Should the meek or easily offended simply stay away from this medium and leave it to the confident, the loud and the chest beaters? Is expressing a personal preference tantamount to opening the door to abuse?
Someone once told me that the things which make us uncomfortable are the things which help us to develop....and I don’t think they were referring to the first bras, this was in a work environment for heaven’s sake. Anyway, my point is should I welcome the feeling of discomfort that this kind of thing encourages or should I gather up my skirts and run away to some smelling salts?
Firstly, people do take advantage of the relative anonymity of the internet and say thing they normally wouldn't in a face to face situation.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I am a firm believer in that what we dislike in other people are things we dislike and need to work on in ourselves.
And thirdly, being married to one of the clan I say a good wack sometimes come in handy!